Dad Diary: Completing our first trimester

Hormones! Not a pregnant woman’s best friend I’d say. I hear it often from my family, friends, and colleagues. This is a ‘known’ occurrence but even knowing that did not prepare me for the real thing. Most of the literature that I’ve read through usually has a section on the various changes that a pregnant woman is going through, both physically and hormonally. Hence, I thought I’d support my wife through this happy but trying time. Some extra love and care usually does the trick.

But that does not work when my wife’s hormones are at work. The books have definitely undersold the entire concept. Needless to say, hormones are the ones to blame for these heightened emotions in my wife. There is a small bushy area near my residence and where a dead body could potentially go undiscovered for some time. I definitely did not want some fitness nerd in a few months’ time stumbling on to my skeleton.

About six weeks into the first trimester I learned to walk away from an argument. Arguing back, albeit with tons of logic is not an option for expectant dads like me at this point in time. I accepted the fact that my days, as a somewhat worldly, opinionated man were over at least for the next six months.

Here’s an example of one of the arguments that I had with my wife during the first trimester. We were watching television together, very happy, nice and peaceful. I just popped over to the kitchen to grab her a drink that she wanted me to get. On my return, I see her sitting at the edge of the sofa, hands clenched into fists and with eyes that are sending me the message that I’d better start running. You’d be wondering what had happened in literally a minute that totally changed her mood. Apparently, she had seen an advertisement on television that reminded her of what a terrible person I was.

And bang! The hormones start doing their job.

It is not my intention to paint my wife as some crazy person. But what I am trying to convey is that, yes, they will go crazy at some point in time. So all I try and do is remember how much I love her and that this wasn’t the time to bring out that know-it-all patriarchal masculinity persona. Just think, if pregnancy was really that easy everyone would be doing it. No, wait. Scratch that one.

It is a big deal to bring your bundle of joy into this world. Someone who is going to need constant love, care and nurturing. Perhaps this is Mother Nature’s way of seeing if we’re up for the job. Just keep saying this to yourself if it really gets hard, “The hormones won’t last forever, however your child will be around the rest of your life.”

In the words of my wife towards the end of the first trimester, “I look forward to you getting home all day, but then I see you and just want to scream in your face.”

Aww, that’s nice. I love you too, honey.

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